impromptu road trip

Here I lay in my bed, listening to the gentle roar of my husband's snores.  And I am downright joyful.  No, I haven't forgotten about you little blog.  I have just been busier cherishing these little moments.  Recent events have made it ever present that these sweet moments of contentedness are fleeting and I need to enjoy every second I'm blessed with. 

"How we react in any situation has to make things better, not worse." - Jeffery R. Holland

Last week my husband walked into our living room with a look of disbelief.  I watched my previously recorded reality television guilty pleasure show while doing homework and giggled asking him why he looked so concerned.  "Bryan died," he somberly replied.  Little did we know our entire week and outlook on life was going to be changed. 

Bryan was an older brother of one of JD's best friends, a close family friend and neighbor to him throughout his entire life.  JD grew up looking up to Bryan.  I never met Bryan, knew him or had any idea really he existed.  However in the last week he has had many tears shed for him from me and my darling husband.  After hearing the news of Bryan's death, we immediately looked at our financial situation.  We just happened to have enough reserves in savings to get us down to the funeral and back home for a quick trip.  We prayed together and came to the decision that we needed to be there for Bryan's family through such a difficult trial. 

Upon our arrival, we learned the details of Bryan's murder.  I won't go into details here (an article about the case is available here if you want to learn more about Bryan's story) but Bryan was essentially killed over a gaming system, a computer and a few video games.  People never cease to amaze me with their awfulness.  It sounds morbid, but it's true.  I just can't hardly stand how much evil is in our world today. 

Although we were visiting my in-laws under unhappy circumstances, we sought to make the best of the trip and take our mind off of the losses surrounding us.  I was able to visit with my best girlfriend, Mandy!  We were roommates last year, we have been best friends since middle school, she's my soul sister in every way.  I just adore her.  We ate salad from Durango's just like old times and visited, laughed and chatted away about all of our going-ons of life.  I was also able to see my other wonderful friend, Cody, who is unfortunately home from his mission on medical leave.  We sat in his living room like we had so many times in high school.  Reminiscing on old times while also discussing new adventures.  At the funeral services I was able to sit with my newly married friend, Emma.  She and I have been the classic "opposites attract" friendship from the very beginning.  She's not particularly girly and quite low key.  Any of you who know me know I tend to be loud and I have quite the girly streak.  It was glorious to see three such good friends.  Additionally, I saw countless others who made my childhood complete.  Primary leaders, seminary teachers, good friends and former teachers were among those seen. 

We ate delicious food while we were there, including my husband's all time favorite homemade pizza his mom makes.  Playing games and watching movies together was mandatory.  JD, Willy and I loved Rise of the Guardians, while everyone else watching fell asleep and thought it was boring.  It's kind of like how I adored Les Mis and none of them were big fans...ah, I'm such an odd duck.  Anyways, it was an enjoyable second day and we were looking forward/dreading the next day to say our final goodbyes.

JD awoke reluctantly as we both dragged ourselves out of bed and got ready for the services to take place that morning.  JD wore my favorite one of his ties, I wore my favorite dress, we were a handsome looking couple that day.  After attending the viewing, paying final respects and giving hugs to family and friends we sat through a beautiful funeral service.  Many tears were shed by all who knew and those who didn't know Bryan.  My in-laws went home after the funeral service.  JD and I decided to attend the graveside ceremony and grave dedication as well to show our respect to Bryan's years of military service.  The military representatives there did a beautiful job preparing the flag for Bryan's mother.  It was truly one of those moments where I was so proud to be an American and so glad for soldiers like Bryan who served in order for me to be able to live the comfortable life that I lead. 

JD's older sister, Nicole, even came down for the funeral services.  We were able to eat lunch with her and play games before she had to head back to St. George.  She brought DELICIOUS cupcakes.  I only had a bit of the cake (gluten intolerance...I just hate it sometimes) but her frosting was to die for!  That evening I was able to attend a show at my Alma Mater and see my old theatre troupe at work.  Many new faces, but a few familiar ones.  It was great to see freshman students I had mentored blossom into such great performers.

We began the trek home very early on our final day.  Thank goodness we did...because we had not idea the pitfalls that were to befall us.  As I walked out to the car, I tripped walking down my in-laws patio stairs and sprained my ankle.  JD rushed me to the high school to get checked out and get ice put on the ankle.  We started off our drive late, but things looked optimistic.  We ate Jimmy John's sandwiches, it is a must on a road trip, and continued on our way.  Outside of Beaver, UT we saw highway patrol lights flashing behind our car and my heart sunk.  Long story short, I am incredibly disappointed in the Utah Highway Patrol Officer we had to deal with.  As he was rude, out right lied to us, searched our vehicle without permission (including going through my luggage) and then impounded our vehicle because we did not have our insurance card in the vehicle, although we provided proof of insurance to the DMV that day.  We had to call several people to get documents to the DMV in Beaver to get an impound release (Thanks again Aunt Brenda and Progressive!).  We had to walk 3 miles to the DMV from the towing lot, mind you I still had a sprained ankle.  Everyone else we had to deal with that day was incredibly wonderful and kind to us.  They couldn't believe we were impounded for such a minor offense.  Even the manager of the  towing yard gave us a discount because he believed the impound to be ridiculous.  After 3 hours of delay, we finally got our car back and continued on the road home.  I have never been so excited to get home.  While during the situation I was very upset and angry, I later was able to remind myself things could have been much worse.  We could have ended up stranded.  We could have been unable to get our car. 

Eventually, we got home safely.  We're a little broke for awhile because we had to pay for getting our car out of impound as well as paying off the ticket we were written ON TOP OF BEING IMPOUNDED (but I believe it will be dismissed because one of the charges is completely baseless and the other can be dismissed with proof of our insurance provided).  While there were highs and lows throughout our trip, I learned a few things:

1. When you forget to bring tissues to a funeral, wear a flowy cardigan because it will be useful for your sweet husband to use when his eyes are watery.
   
   
2. 90% of the time, people don't like to admit they made a mistake.  Therefore, they impound your car to cover their tracks and treat you terribly because they happen to have a bee in their bonnet that day.
   
   
3. Strawberry Lemonade Cupcakes by my sister-in-law are the most delicious cupcakes I've ever tasted.
   
   
4. Seeing old friends is a wonderful treat.
   
   
5. Family in all forms is a wonderful gift.
   
   
6. Life is incredibly short.
   
   
7. I really love my husband. If you told me how much capacity for love I'd have toward him before we got married, I don't know if I would have believed you.
   
   
   

   "To love another person is to see the face of God."

    - Victor Hugo

Mandy and Me, reunited at last!

The Cody-kins. 

 Saying goodbye to a wonderful man, missionary and veteran.

 Jimmy Johns = Our Utah food must have

charitable to a fault?

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We all know, to be charitable is admirable and brings people closer to whatever higher being you may/may not believe in.  However, when is being charitable detrimental?  Where does charity stop and inability to care for yourself begin?  This is the big question.

Charitable contributions are a wonderful thing to do.  I give to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, as well as several local groups that provide a wonderful service to my community.  My personal belief is that if I give a little, I'll get a little at some point.  The "pay it forward" mentality.  Even money saving guru Dave Ramsey stated: Doesn’t giving mean you have less money? Technically yes, but giving has valuable benefits. For starters, giving to others makes you more appreciative of what you have, which can actually help curb your spending. Second, people who give tend to find blessings and attract people into their lives who can cause them to be blessed more.  (You can read the entire article on Building Wealth here)  There is a huge difference between being giving....and down right throwing all of your money at charitable groups.  Charitable contributions should not interfere with paying necessary expenses such as groceries, gas money and utility bills.  

Caring for yourself financially is essential to gaining stability in all parts of your life.  Think of yourself as a financial asset.  I understand that is a little difficult and strange to do.  But, seriously, picture it.  Your career, your accounts and yourself.  By investing in yourself (i.e. investing retirement/savings accounts, paying your bills on time to build credit, setting money aside for medical expenses, paying for classes to improve skills, etc.) you are building upon your greatest financial asset.  YOU!  A marketable, smart and secure person is one that never fears unexpected expenses, never stresses over financial decisions and strives for greatness in all aspects of their life.

I'm a giver.  I always have been.  However, once I got married and really started looking at our goals financially, I realized that as much as I wanted to give monetary donations to groups, there had to be changes in how giving was done.  We still donate 10% of our income to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and we choose to be charitable in other ways.  We do service for groups we would generally just give money too.  We go through our belongings and donate what we don't need to Deseret Industries.

Charity is a Godly trait.  However, how are we expected to care for others if we cannot care for ourselves (financial, physically or otherwise)?  M.S. Elizabeth Scott stated: Taking time out to care for yourself can remind you and others that you and your needs are important, too. Having a well-cared-for body can make you feel good about yourself and your life, and conveys to others that you value yourself. This can contribute to long-term feelings of wellbeing. (You can read her entire article on the importance of self-care here)  I used to not plan out my time at all.  I'd commit to give my time to numerous organizations, I'd commit to help everyone and I'd completely kick my own needs to the curb.  I wouldn't get enough sleep, because I was working and going to school and giving every second of free time I had to various groups.  My health was suffering because I wasn't taking the time to eat properly or exercise.  My grades suffered because I was not donating the time I needed to my school work.  All around, I was falling apart.  And I realized I needed to prioritize myself into my schedule.  Once I started caring for myself, everything else found it's natural order.  

Never underestimate the importance of giving financially and physically.  However, never let giving to others get in the way of giving to yourself.  Once you put your own finances, health and well-being first, the rest of your life will become easier, leaving you energy/time/money to give to others.

"Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world." - Lucille Ball

the spending diet

Blessings are abundant for our little two person family, blog world.  I've been working extra hours at my office and building quite a bit of job security.  JD got moved up to FULL TIME!  Yay!  These are both incredible blessings for us at this time!

However, I often look at our money situation and think, "How did we survive when I was the only one with a pay check?"  It really was not that long ago that JD was out of work still and I was the only one bringing home very little from my part-time paralegal gig.  I thought and thought about this and realized something: We were much more careful.  We knew we ONLY had $400-$500 for the month.  We carefully planned out every cent.  And we thrived and survived, with the help of not paying rent (my parents really are our saviors as we work up the ranks, earn money and save for a house.  I don't think I'll ever be able to really express to them or you how awesome they are.) and having limited expenses. 

As I was looking at our financials, our expenses haven't really changed.  However, we have not been budgeting as we used to.  We feel as though we don't have to be as tight as we once did, so we spend on frivolous "extras."  Lately, we've been seriously looking at purchasing a home.  We're needing to save up for school expenses so both JD and I can attend school this fall.  We want to start saving for a baby.  So, obviously, spending needed to cease...or at least be controlled.

One of my very favorite money savings blogs is And Then We Saved.  Anna got out of $24,000 of debt in 15 months!  She shares tips on saving money, doing things yourself, and most inspiring to me, The Spending Fast.  If the Spending Fast seems a little too difficult for you (because I thought that when I read it), try the Spending Diet with me! 

Read more about the details on Anna's blog.  Essentially, at the beginning of the month we make a list.  First, we begin estimating our income for the month.  Then, we estimate our NEEDED expenses.  Let me say that again...NEEDED expenses.  Yes, there are huge differences between NEEDS and WANTS.  Don't worry friends, it's difficult for me to grasp that most of the time too.  Generally, once the needed expenses are done, we give ourselves $200 extra (Anna does $100, but we're starting with $200 to start).  This money can be used for whatever we want during the month.  Eating out, buying clothes, etc.  Once it is gone, it's gone.  Any money left over after the "needs" list and $200 extra "play" money is done, gets put straight into our Savings Account preparing for house, baby and college for JD.

This month we're starting the plunge and, I'll tell you (even where we basically have no debt right now) it feels liberating.  We feel like we're taking total control of how and where we spend our money.  So, join me in the Spending Diet!  Do you have any favorite budgeting or spending tips?  What things do you deem "needs" and "wants"?  (i.e. I have yet to convince my husband dyeing my hair is necessity...baby steps I suppose).  I guarantee you're going to like how it feels to take total control of your finances.

the "other" man

I like to say that JD has two personalities.  The one that I fell in love with...and the one that comes out when he is asleep.

DISCLAIMER: I love him no matter what.  However, this beast comes alive when the man is asleep.  He's very affectionate and cuddly when he's awake.  Then the second the REM cycle begins, it is like this incredibly non-touchable menace is born.

I get cranky when I don't get enough rest, which is normal for most people. However, JD gets cranky when he is actually asleep, when he doesn't get enough rest or is dreaming.  I will never understand this.

Perfect Example: The other night I was having really bad, strange dreams.  I kept waking up so I attempted to shake JD awake, at which point he pulled his entire comforter around his face and rolled to the farthest side of the bed.  I fell back asleep...and had another scary dream.  I attempted to shake him awake again saying "JD...JD, honey..."  His response: "What?!"  I quietly said, "I had a bad dream."  His response:
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"DEAL WITH IT."

At which point he rolled over and went back to sleep.

After I told him this story in the morning, I received lots of kisses, hugs and heard him say quite a few times, "I'm sorry my subconscious is such a jerk!"

It's hard to get mad at him with a face like this.

 JD circa 2008, shortly before his mission...yes, he still owns that beanie and t-shirt

jd-isms

"You know you found your perfect woman when she can quote the entire 'Saga Begins' Star Wars song by Weird Al."  (I've been able to do it since fourth grade...he's impressed)

"FRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIICK!!!!!"(Every time he dies in Halo)

"Will you cook for me forever?" (to my mother...I guess I still have a thing or two to learn...)

"My laundry is so clean...[my wife] must be doing it." (True.  He said his laundry was only ever done this well when he lived with his parents still.)

"You put a random pastry in my bag and you didn't even tell me?" (To the woman at Arby's that gave us a free apple turnover)

"I really think that you can't ever really be happy unless you're following the Lord...and have a super hot and gorgeous wife like mine." (Also, true.)

the book is always better

I'm sure many of you have heard of "The Book of Mormon."  No, not this one (although it is awesome)...

This is the one I'm speaking of:



Yes, The Book of Mormon: The Musical.  It has caused mixed feeling among members of my faith.  I know of people who are completely offended by this new show.  They think it is completely desecrating the LDS faith.  They believe this show is ripping apart the very book they love so dearly. 

Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and a lover of musical theatre, I've researched this musical extensively.  This musical is quite humorous, however I would not consider it a work of art.  It's a fun, lighthearted, satire piece.  Nothing really to "write home about" in my humble opinion.  However, it is apparent the writers of the musical know there is something special about us "Mormons."  They extensively read the Book of Mormon, went to church historical sites and did lots of history research into our church.  There are even little jokes in the musical referring to "quit being such a Lemuel" and things only members of the church would understand.  However, this musical does present some false doctrine.  For example, the young elder who is constantly making up and misusing scriptures.  The statement that God's plan involves everyone getting their own planet.  The statement that Mormons just believe.  These can be seen as horrific and terrible mockery and blasphemy.  I disagree.

We live in a culture where nearly all publicity is good publicity.  While this musical does put Mormonism in a skewed and satirical light, it also peaks peoples interest.  I flew back east to New York City about two years ago to perform with the National Honors Choir at Carnegie Hall.  It was an amazing experience, not only because I got to sing at Carnegie Hall, but because of all of the people I met.  There were 80 chosen from the 10,000 that auditioned for the program.  And, shocker, there was only one other LDS singer selected.  Between the 12 hours a day of rehearsals, there was little sight-seeing accomplished.  I was able to go to the "Top of the Rock," shop on 5th Avenue, eat over in the Hell's Kitchen district and see two amazing Broadway musicals.  Not to mention, our rehearsal space was in Times Square, so we were constantly walking around there each day.  A few performers, in their spare time, saw The Book of Mormon as at that time it was still in previews and had not yet premiered.  I had so many of those singers asking me about the gospel and what Mormonism was all about after they had seen the musical.  While there were some misrepresentations in the show, it got people intrigued to explore the church and learn more about the gospel.

I know some of you members of the  church are reading this thinking, "What a heathen!  Any bad things said about the LDS church are obviously horrible and need to be stopped!!!"  I say you're entitled to your opinion.  However, do you want to know who agrees with me?  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  Once the Book of Mormon Musical began it's tour this year and continued on Broadway, the church took the opportunity to make some great publicity by doing this....

I love that the church did this!  I think it shows that the Church is evolving with the times.  Church leaders understand that while this is a satire piece poking fun at many different religions, including the LDS church, there is always a way to turn anything potential harmful into a positive tool to promote the church.

*In no way am I promoting that you run out and go see this musical.  Quite honestly, I really do not enjoy it.  However, I think it is amazing that the LDS church has decided rather than be upset about this musical and it's inappropriate at times content, it is celebrating the fact that this musical gets people interested in our religion.  In my humble opinion, only good can come from others discovering how awesome the church is.

determined

It has been awhile.  It was quite an eventful Christmas filled with family, new babies, loud games, lots of beautiful gifts and my dad putting his head through a wall.  Pictures forthcoming.  However, with the new year upon us, I thought it fitting to talk to you about my goals for the new year.

Some of you may or may not have seen the buzz around the blogosphere, but the One Little Word project is one I think it amazing!  Ali Edwards challenges readers to select a single word to help them throughout the year.  To let that word speak to you, to embrace the word and all meanings/possibilities encumbered by it.  I really enjoyed reading about this challenge, she's been doing it for a few years now but I am now just learning about it.  However, I love it. 

I often find myself making the same resolutions each and every year, then never keeping them.  It gets overwhelming, I get busy and I end up just "surviving" the year rather than conquering it.  Not any more...because the word that spoke to me for this year is...

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This year, I am determined.  I'm attacking this year with determination to achieve my goals and not just simply live, but to  conquer.  I hope to continually improve myself and be determined to do so.  I hope to be determined in all things including: taking care of myself, more enjoyable work experience, continuing to improve my school work, being determined to keep things tidy and always determined to stay positive through any trial.  2013 is looking to be an amazing year and I am excited for it. 

 

 

Do any of you have a word you hope to inspire you new year?  What is it and what does it mean to you?  I'd love to hear what word inspires you to be your best self in this coming New Year.