mamas day

My mother is really one of the most amazing women I know.  And I'm well aware, everyone thinks their mother is the bees knees, no other mother is as amazing as theirs, I get that.  However, I believe mine is an outstanding one.  She's got an amazing story, which makes her even better. 

My parents circa April 27, 1991 at their wedding reception.

(FYI, that hair piece in her hair, became my bridal veil at my own wedding.  Love having such a precious heirloom)

 

 

My mother and father were married in the Las Vegas Nevada LDS Temple in April 1991.  My father had three children from a previous marriage, which my mother loves with all her heart.  Their entire family was sealed together in the Las Vegas Temple, for time and all eternity long before I was born.  I was born in October 1992, to a wonderful family with amazing big sisters and a big brother who watched over and protected me throughout my childhood.  Sure, we fought, like siblings generally do, but their care and watchfulness was unwavering.  My mother taught me what unconditional love means.  She has unconditionally loved my siblings and I through all of our trials.  All four of us kids have made some really, really, really questionable decisions, borderline stupid sometimes.  However, even when mom didn't agree with us, she gave us unwavering  support. 

 

The whole fam damily, Easter 2008

 

My mother taught me how to listen to the spirit.  In her single years, she traveled around the country working at various horse ranches as a ranch manager/veterinary technician.  Her life is continually led by the promptings of the spirit.  If my mother feels a prompting, action is taken immediately.  When she was preparing to go back to school and moving back to Salt Lake City, UT, she felt prompted to move to Overton, NV (a tiny, tiny little town) and care for her Uncle's horse ranch located there.  Moving their made absolutely no sense, but the spirit prompted her so she packed up and moved to Overton.  While managing her uncle's farm, she began working for a local veterinarian.  Later, she met my father.  If she hadn't followed that simple prompting, none of my siblings nor I would have ever had the privilege of being her children.

My mother taught me what it means to be a true friend.  If my mother even suspects someone needs help, she will go to the ends of the earth to ensure they are taken care of.  We joke and say she is almost "charitable to a fault."  Even sick and tired, she will give whatever she can to whoever is in need.  Friends care for one another, not just in a superficial sense, but in a deeper way.  My mother truly knows how to love as Christ loves, unwavering and unyielding.  For example, the day before my wedding, my mother was violently ill.  She was so sick.  However, the next morning she picked herself up, took some medicine and participated fully in the entire wedding day.  She helped plan things, she helped get me ready, she did everything regardless of how much she was hurting and how ill she was.  Then, on my honeymoon when I got the same terrible flu, my poor husband didn't want to leave me alone in such a state.  So my mother, still recovering from how incredibly sick she was, went to the store and bought crackers, soda, Gatorade, medicine, even pajamas for me and brought them to our little bed and breakfast.  She gives, even when she is in desperate pain, even while she is recovering from eye surgery (like right now!), even when she is on the verge of being in the hospital, she will continue to give. 

My mother is the most inspiring woman I know.  There are so many other women in my life who helped shape me into the person I am today and acted as mother figures in my life.  My grandmothers, my aunts, my teachers, my church leaders, my sister, countless others and of course, I have my wonderful mother-in-law who has been such a lovely, welcoming, beautiful woman and treats me as one of her own children.  Needless to say, JD and I have both been blessed to be raised by amazing women. 

 

So today, JD and I are so grateful for our mothers.  The ones that raised us and the ones that influenced us.  We're so grateful for you.  I can only hope that whenever I become a mother, I'll be half as wonderful as you all are.

P.S. I got Wreck-It-Ralph as a mother's day present from the hubs because, eventually, I'll be the mother of JD's kids.  SCORE! 

 



charitable to a fault?

source

We all know, to be charitable is admirable and brings people closer to whatever higher being you may/may not believe in.  However, when is being charitable detrimental?  Where does charity stop and inability to care for yourself begin?  This is the big question.

Charitable contributions are a wonderful thing to do.  I give to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, as well as several local groups that provide a wonderful service to my community.  My personal belief is that if I give a little, I'll get a little at some point.  The "pay it forward" mentality.  Even money saving guru Dave Ramsey stated: Doesn’t giving mean you have less money? Technically yes, but giving has valuable benefits. For starters, giving to others makes you more appreciative of what you have, which can actually help curb your spending. Second, people who give tend to find blessings and attract people into their lives who can cause them to be blessed more.  (You can read the entire article on Building Wealth here)  There is a huge difference between being giving....and down right throwing all of your money at charitable groups.  Charitable contributions should not interfere with paying necessary expenses such as groceries, gas money and utility bills.  

Caring for yourself financially is essential to gaining stability in all parts of your life.  Think of yourself as a financial asset.  I understand that is a little difficult and strange to do.  But, seriously, picture it.  Your career, your accounts and yourself.  By investing in yourself (i.e. investing retirement/savings accounts, paying your bills on time to build credit, setting money aside for medical expenses, paying for classes to improve skills, etc.) you are building upon your greatest financial asset.  YOU!  A marketable, smart and secure person is one that never fears unexpected expenses, never stresses over financial decisions and strives for greatness in all aspects of their life.

I'm a giver.  I always have been.  However, once I got married and really started looking at our goals financially, I realized that as much as I wanted to give monetary donations to groups, there had to be changes in how giving was done.  We still donate 10% of our income to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and we choose to be charitable in other ways.  We do service for groups we would generally just give money too.  We go through our belongings and donate what we don't need to Deseret Industries.

Charity is a Godly trait.  However, how are we expected to care for others if we cannot care for ourselves (financial, physically or otherwise)?  M.S. Elizabeth Scott stated: Taking time out to care for yourself can remind you and others that you and your needs are important, too. Having a well-cared-for body can make you feel good about yourself and your life, and conveys to others that you value yourself. This can contribute to long-term feelings of wellbeing. (You can read her entire article on the importance of self-care here)  I used to not plan out my time at all.  I'd commit to give my time to numerous organizations, I'd commit to help everyone and I'd completely kick my own needs to the curb.  I wouldn't get enough sleep, because I was working and going to school and giving every second of free time I had to various groups.  My health was suffering because I wasn't taking the time to eat properly or exercise.  My grades suffered because I was not donating the time I needed to my school work.  All around, I was falling apart.  And I realized I needed to prioritize myself into my schedule.  Once I started caring for myself, everything else found it's natural order.  

Never underestimate the importance of giving financially and physically.  However, never let giving to others get in the way of giving to yourself.  Once you put your own finances, health and well-being first, the rest of your life will become easier, leaving you energy/time/money to give to others.

"Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world." - Lucille Ball