Monday, September 17, 2012

marriage 101

I've read that your first year of marriage and the events that occur during it define the marriage for the rest of your life.  I believe we had a moment, a singular moment, that defined our marriage.  This happened during our first week, nay, our second day of marriage. 

Before our wedding, everyone in my family was getting this absolutely horrible flu.  This included my mother the day before my wedding.  So, I'd been trying to fight this flu away so I didn't have to get it on the day of my wedding.  We made it through the wedding day and had an absolute perfect day.  It was truly the happiest day of my life and I fall deeper in love with my husband every day.

Now, for the reality part.  We got to our darling bed and breakfast (Anniversary Inn.  Seriously, go there, it's adorable)  and had....a fun time (don't oooh la la at me, you know what happens on honeymoons).  We woke up the next morning and watched tv while we ate breakfast.  Then suddenly, I threw up.  All over our bed.  And all over our bathroom.  My husband calmly picked me up, sat me in our tub, started the bath and he proceeded to clean the bathroom, going and getting cleaner from the maids.  He washed me, picked me up, put me in some pajamas and put me into bed.  It was...awful.  Simply horrid.  Mortifying even.  One day into the marriage and he's cleaning puke.  I assumed he was thinking, "What did I get myself into with this one?"  But, I learned something through that terrible experience.  We will always pick each other up.  Even in the deepest, darkest, even embarrassing parts of our lives, we have each other. 

Since then, there's been more throw up for both of us.  Bills that we need to get paid.  Laundry that is never finished.  Messy rooms that can never stay clean.  Jobs that need to be found and stress up the hoozie-whatzit.  However, there's a few things that always keep up going and keep us together and strong in our marriage.

  1. We pray.  Every. Single. Night.  Together and privately.  It is incredibly difficult to be worried, stressed or upset when you're praying to the Lord. "The strength of a man and wife joined together in God’s sight is far greater than the sum of the strengths of each of the two individuals. That’s because the Holy Spirit unites them and gives added power to their prayers." -Stormie Ormartian
  2. We read scriptures.  Almost. Every. Single. Night.  Same principle.  When you're coming closer to the Lord and Christ, it's nearly impossible to be upset or worried about the stresses of the mortal world.
  3. We do our best not to let the little things get us down.  I often find myself completely overwhelmed and frustrated over not having enough hours in the day to do homework, laundry, work out, cook and be the perfect "happy" wife at all times.  And, luckily, my hubby has even said "If I wanted the perfect cookie cutter wife, I wouldn't have married you."  Some people think it's an insult, I consider it a GREAT compliment to be out of the ordinary. 
  4. We talk about everything.  No lies, no secrets. To quote a certain "dancer" from The Office, "Secrets secrets are no fun.  Secrets secrets hurt someone."
  5. We forgive and forget.  We never bring up past mistakes in arguments.  Okay, never sounds absolute.  We aren't perfect people.  We make mistakes, but reliving and rehashing out old problems never fixes them.
  6. We write in our journals most every day.  It's these small, separate, private moments that keep us (ourselves) together.  In order to care for each other, we need to care for ourselves.  And we work to keep up on this one. 
  7. We'd don't point out each others flaws and mistakes. 
  8. And, we fall deeper in love each day.  (Probably the easiest and most important factor in our happy marriage)

1 comment:

  1. Oh darling I love this! This is what marriage should be like! I have so many friends who don't understand this principle!


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