i'm not cut out to be a housewife

For the last two weeks, I've been on administrative leave from work.  And, currently the leave is indefinite.  Black mold was found at our Port of Entry, so we all were forced to vacate the building and make doctor's appointments.  The state has yet to decide what they are going to do (i.e. bring out an office trailer for us to work from or just keep us on leave until the building is up to code) so we're all getting paid to be at home.

I don't have any children, so you're probably thinking "What a sweet deal, Megs!  (You call me Megs, because we're tight, yo) You're so lucky!  Staying at home without any kids to take care of."  Hahahahahaha, you're hilarious.  Because...I am really not a huge fan of this whole "housewife" thing. 

I have an impulsive need to be productive.  So, I've been going through things, organizing things, cleaning everything in sight.  I HATE CLEANING!  What is happening to me?!  I've been cooking dinners, which is actually super relaxing for me.  I love to cook and make good food, but then I am actually around to have to CLEAN UP THE KITCHEN!

Here's the thing, I have a compulsion to keep myself busy...all the time.  It's one of those lovely traits from my amazing mommy.  So, in not going to work daily, I've been trying to find other ways to busy myself.  I've cleaned, organized, cooked, prepped, done a million things that are TOTALLY out of character for me.  And, newsflash, I don't like it.

I don't mind cleaning, but it sure isn't my favorite thing.  My favorite type of cleaning it tidying up on one of my days off and always keeping the bathroom immaculate (I have a thing about the bathrooms being spotless at all times....I'm weird, I know....).  However, being home and around all of the little projects I have just been working on each of them.  And it is killing me.  I'm more exhausted than ever, I'm feeling like I constantly am not doing enough, and I'm getting really antsy being around the house all day. 

Seriously, stay-at-home mama friends, I have no idea how you do this.  I'm exhausted, tired and worn out...and my only child is a black Labrador that spends most of his summer days outside.  I've got a lot of respect for all of your stay and home moms who work so hard every day.  I, personally, cannot WAIT to get back to my job.