Tuesday, July 15, 2014

content : one little word update

After moving and getting a new job and the fun and craziness that come with that, I've been thinking a lot about my "one little word" for the year of 2014.  You may remember this post from January, my word for the year was "content".  However, through the changes we have made in our lives this year my definition of content has drastically changed.

At that point in my life (January 2014) I was in a serious funk.  My husband was starting to notice it as well and trying to figure out how to best help me with it. I just wasn't happy, and feelings of that unhappiness started in 2013.  So, I got a new job.  I was happy for a short time but it just wasn't lasting...The feelings of unhappiness just kept rolling in and I didn't know what to do.  I was frustrated and felt stuck.  I thought maybe I was wanting to have a baby, maybe I wanted to just quit my job and be at home, maybe I wanted to just run away from all responsibilities and join a hippie commune in the forest.

Obviously, none of those proposed "ideas" were the answer to my problem.  I prayed day in and day out to learn to be "happy in my circumstances" and "content where I was."  I felt so guilty because I was trying to hard to just force myself to be happy in an environment where I just...wasn't.

One particularly difficult day in January, JD toyed with the idea of moving.  He knew of some openings with his company in Salt Lake, thought maybe I may be interested.  I brushed off the idea at that point and said that moving was just totally not within the realm of possibility.  However, that little seedingly of thought kept creeping back into the forefront of my mind.  What if we moved?  What if I started a different job?  How would I find a job?  Where would we live?  Would I even like living in a city?  I've never lived in a real city!  How would we do it? 

In about February we continued to pray about whether or not a move was the best things for us to do.  In the middle of February it was just glaringly obvious that our time in Kemmerer needed to end.  So, we made the decision to quietly being planning our move to SLC. JD started putting in his paperwork for a transfer into SLC, which we figured would be ready around June.  So, I started applying to a few jobs thinking within a few months something would probably pop up.

Two days after applying for a trucking company based in Salt Lake City, they wanted me to come down for an interview the next morning.  The interviewer and I really hit it off, I didn't even think there way any way I had the job when I left because I have never felt so relaxed after a job interview.  I went to the hair salon after the interview to gush over our moving plans and get pampered to relax after such a stressful endeavor.  While my color was processing, I got a call from my interviewer wanting to know what starting salary would be acceptable to me because they were offering me the position.  They wanted me to start in 1 week.

So, the move went much quicker than planned.  Miraculously, JD was able to transfer down the week after I was down here full time.  My aunt was kind enough to let us stay in her spare room until our apartment was ready.  We still have a ton of crap I should really throw away boxes of our stuff in my parent's basement.  We basically packed up an air mattress and some essentials and jumped in the car headed for Utah.

A little more about being content: I've slowly come to realize, being content in your life DOES NOT mean making yourself unhappy.  Yes, being content can lend itself to mean being happy regardless of what is happening in your life.  However, contentedness should not be an explanation for disliking your life.  If there are legitimate changes you can make in your life to make yourself more happy, do it.  Don't ever put off your happiness for the convenience of others.

So, there are some of my little thoughts regarding being content.  Someday I'm gonna revamp this blog design again, but for now I'll just go crawl into bed and wake up tomorrow another day as a cubicle worker.

And I'll be happy about every second of it.

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