Tuesday, July 31, 2012

married without children

So, I've learned something happens when someone who got married around the same time as you...gets pregnant.

My awesome cousin, Jenni Winn (now) Hansen, is preggo!  She's having a little, cute baby and I'm so thrilled for her!

She got married to her sweet man, Josh, 1 1/2 months before I married JD.  We were planning our weddings at the same time and both had them in Northern Utah.  Hers was in Manti and mine was in Salt Lake City.

Then I found out she's pregnant.  And, I suddenly got super,....jealous.

And I felt this feeling to be incredibly strange.  I was so happy for her.  And the other three cousins between JD and I that we have that are expecting beautiful babies.  And I hadn't gotten really baby "jealous" after those couples got pregnant.  But the difference was, they were older.  They'd been married for years.  Jenni and I both just got married.  Jenni and I are both the exact same age.   And now she and Josh are already beginning their family.

JD and I both have prayed and agreed that now is not the time.  We want to have our own space, i.e. not living with my parents.  We want JD to have a steady job, i.e. not be looking for a job.  We want to have at least a bit more of my education finished, i.e. at least my Associates Degree done.

Still, I just felt this pulling at my heart.  To have a little baby that was mine in my arms.  To shop for cute baby clothes.  To have late nights caring for my child.  To kiss scraped knees.  To sing them to sleep.  To just have a little tiny someone to be my own. 

Then, I realized, that's just not me and JD's story right now.  We're still trying to figure ourselves out in our marriage.  We're still trying to establish some kind of income for our family.  We're still trying to get the basics mastered.  Once we figure things out further, you can bet we'll start planning for little Megans and JDs to be running around.  Watch out, world!

For now we'll just keep preparing ourselves for that great blessing. And I'll just keep pinning cutesy tootsey baby things in Pinterest. 


  1. When the time comes it'll be worth the wait. For now maybe you can babysit little babies and get some practice in ;)

  2. I know the feeling haha. I'm not even married yet, but I get baby fever like crazy sometimes. I think it's just something all us girls get when we hit a certain age.

  3. Hey look at it this way lady!! I'm older than you with no babies :) and you are welcome to babysit when I have them! :D Miss ya Mrs Megan!!


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