Saturday, December 15, 2012

protect the children

I theorized a few days ago that my blog post today would contain a my experiences co-planning the annual ward Christmas party.  The sore feet that I was sure would come (and I was correct), the relief of stress I would feel (I was also correct) and the end of finals week (which was also an amazing blessing).  However, life has a way of changing things...

Last night after a full day of work and a full week of decorating, cooking, singing at and cleaning up after the ward Christmas party that I was co-chair for, I was finally able to sit down upstairs and watch the news before heading to bed.  I'd read a bit about the story while at work, however, I was so busy I merely read a few headlines then continued work on a few of the divorce cases going to trial next week.  My father and my husband hadn't heard anything about the killings either, being busy at work as well.   

I was saddened and horrified by the news as I watched the timeline of this travesty unfold.  I wondered how a young man, the exact same age as me mind you, could get to such a dark, horrible place in his own mind that he felt the need to not only destroy his own life, but the lives of countless others.  I thought of my three little nieces and how horrified and distraught I would feel if any of them were in any situation remotely close to what happened in Newtown, CT.

Not only did I begin pondering on that horrific, senseless act of violence in Connecticut, but I also began pondering on the at least two other instances of violence to happen this week alone.  The Jovan Belcher murder/suicide and the Oregon mall killings have all occurred in this small window of time.  I'm sure there are many other violent acts to have taken place in the last two weeks that I am not aware of.  As my husband, father and I watched, we began discussing all of these killings that have taken place in two weeks time.  We also spoke of our experiences when Columbine, The Virginia Tech Massacre, The Aurora Colorado Movie Theater Shootings and countless other violent acts taken out on innocent men, women and children.  How when each individual event happened, we couldn't believe humanity could fall any further.  And with each individual event, we were constantly proved wrong.

The true heroine, in my humble opinion, of the entire tragedy is Victoria Soto.

CNN reports:
Soto, a first grade teacher at Sandy Hook Elementary, moved her students away from the classroom door when she heard gunfire, which students initially "thought were hammers falling," according to the father of one of her students.

Her students were huddled behind her in a corner of the classroom, her family said.

"That's when the gunman burst in, did not say a word, no facial expressions, and proceeded to shoot their teacher," said Robert Licata, whose 6-year-old son Aiden escaped by running past the shooter.

"She instinctively went into action when a monster came into her classroom and tried to protect the kids that she loved so much," her cousin, James Wiltsie, said. "We just want the public to know that Vicki was a hero."

While Soto had no children of her own, she did love her dog. The black lab Roxie spent Saturday wondering around Soto's apartment, apparently looking for her, relatives said.

Now is not the time to discuss personal opinions on gun control or demand the government take action to prevent this from happening again.  Now is the time to lovingly remember those who were lost in this horrific event.  As a current Elementary Education Major, I felt a connection with this particular occurrence.  I thought as I watched the bravery exhibited by the teachers involved wondering, If my class of kindergarteners was in that situation, would I be able to be as calm, loving and brave as these teachers were?  That answer in unclear, but I know that if I have even half of the love that those teachers had for their students, I would do anything to protect them.

My personal thoughts and prayers are with those families suffering through this incredible tragedy.  However, I know without a doubt that their families will be reunited in the hereafter.  Hold those you love tighter and always protect the children.  

"I have spoken for children—children everywhere. Some may reject some of these examples, but none should resist the plea that we unite to increase our concern for the welfare and future of our children—the rising generation.  We are speaking of the children of God, and with His powerful help, we can do more to help them. In this plea I address not only Latter-day Saints but also all persons of religious faith and others who have a value system that causes them to subordinate their own needs to those of others, especially to the welfare of children." -Dallin H. Oaks

Monday, December 10, 2012

that will be my life

One down...And it was the one I was the most worried about.

MATH.

This week, is the dreaded finals week.  And I am shaking in my boots.  Quite literally.  It's cold up here.  Snowy, windy (apparently) normal Wyoming weather.  At least one of the worst is over.  Now I just have two projects and two finals left to finish...by Thursday.

Yet, here I am, procrastinating the whole terrible ordeal.  I decided I passed my math exam with flying colors, so I deserve to have sometime on the internet.  Until I begin again writing my research paper for English.  Being in college is hard.

Today I was catching up on some blogs that I follow and I read this post by Ashley @i believe in unicorns.  Then, I read a post about that post here by Bree @scribbles and snapshots.  Guess what?  BOTH were answers to my prayers.  I was so happy to read about women in similar situations as I, struggling with the same concept/problem as I am.

What makes you happy?  I've never been a logical thinker.  I'm quite a creative mind.  I've never been content with doing things logically or having a "normal" job.  I've always wanted to make art, play with children, sing, write, read, play instruments, etc. for my career.  Currently, I love my career.  Being a paralegal is wonderful.  I enjoy helping people through difficult times.  Still, my creative mind often feels cramped and contained having to stay within the lines of legal protocol.  

However, I'm currently a college student.  I'm figuring out what I want to be when I grow up.  Currently, it's a teacher.  I love children.  I think I'd be just darling at it (to quote Ms. Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's).  Still, I want to be a mother.  I want to be a private voice teacher.  I want to be an elementary school teacher.  I want to be a writer.  I want to be an artist.  I really enjoy law, perhaps I'll even get my Juris Doctor one day.  It is completely difficult to decide what to be when I grow up.  Can't I just be a ballerina princess like I wanted to when I was four years old?

Life is beautiful.  Art is everywhere.  Spoken word, novels, music, even the sounds of children laughing.  Art is a wonderful thing and my main goal in life is to help everyone see that art lives all around us.  I want to make the world more beautiful. That is my goal in life. Now just to find my way getting there...



Monday, December 3, 2012

what we saw this weekend






1. The whole fam damily for the Belcher side.  The one day we wanted to take family photos, it was windier than I'd ever seen.

2. Just us kids.  I just especially enjoy this picture.  Mostly because Nicole and I are both holding our hair just so our faces can be seen.  And, 1/2 of my face is still covered.  But, alas, we carry on...

3.  Emma and Kevin BROWN!  We witnessed them be sealed for time and all eternity in the St. George Utah LDS Temple.  It was a beautiful day and we were so happy to be there to witness the two of them join together for time and all eternity.  Also, do you see how cute her dress is?  It's 54 years old!  Her grandmother wore that dress AND made that super cute bright orange bolero. 

4.  Us, waiting by the wedding exit for beautiful bride and groom with Jordan and Jay Rappleye.  This is my new favorite picture of the two of us.  Prepare to see it everywhere.  We were so happy that morning.  I was reminded of my beautiful wedding day, my amazing husband and I felt overwhelming gratitude for where I'm at right now.  I was a very happy camper.  And I think it shows in this photo how happy the both of us were.  Mad props to Jordan for taking it!  I miss her so much!  We were both good friends in high school, we both got married within the same year, we basically married the same guy in different sizes (not really...but kind of...).  And it is a sad fact that we live two states away. 

We're home from vacation.  I'll be honest with you, I wish I could have a vacation from my vacation.  We were just go-go-going the entire time.  We had plans every single day.  We had a wedding.  We had family pictures.  I was always doing homework.  I'm exhausted.  And the total of 20 hours in a car this weekend was not helpful.  However, we carry on.  I have work in about nine hours, so I should probably skee-daddle.  Good night, I'll probably write again once finals are over. If I survive that long.  Until next time...

Monday, November 19, 2012

thanks

Blessings are in abundance in my life.  It's a wonderful thing.  Even though I'm stressed with school (finals are just around the corner), work has been busy as all get out (new assistant, tons of new cases, 2 cases went to trial last week), and cleaning gets me even more stressed (however, I have been keeping consistent with keeping the bathroom clean and keeping up with laundry. Small victories!).  Sometimes I find myself struggling to keep positive when things aren't going the way I want, plan or expect.  However, with the holidays approaching I am thinking about all of the wonderful blessings in my life.  So, here I go to try and list a few:
  • My husband, he makes me so happy
  • The Coca-Cola Company, for giving me the amazing opportunity to attend college.  I am a 2011 Coca Cola Scholar and part of an amazing family of wonderfully talented individuals.  20,000 applied, 250 were chosen.  I am lucky to be part of such a wonderful group.  After attending the scholar conference in Atlanta, GA and meeting scholars from around the country we interviewed for the various levels of scholarship awards.  I was fortunate to receive a $10,000 scholarship to attend college.  It is only through the Coca Cola Company that I am able to continue my education and earn my degree, even if I hate college sometimes.
  • Diet Coke, not only is it putting me through college with money, it gives me the energy necessary to stay up until all hours of the night studying and accomplishing homework.
  • Family, my siblings (both sets) are always there for me, I have the most gorgeous nieces in the world and I have the best parents (both sets) on the planet.  I'm also fortunate to be close with my cousins, aunts and uncles.
  • Wyoming, I really enjoy where we live.  My parent's have been so wonderful letting us live rent free in the basement.  We both have jobs here.  I can attend college at a good rate here.  I like living in a small town.  I grew up in a small town, I hope to raise my children in a small (or at least smallish) community.
  • This blog, it's small.  I don't have a lot of followers.  However, I love each and every person that reads.  It's a wonderful outlet to express my thoughts and hopefully others relate to me.
  • Jobs, JD and I both have employment making us money so we are able to pay our bills and save for our future. 
  • My faith, I love the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  I am so happy I was married in the temple for time and all eternity.  I am so happy I have the gospel in my life.  I am so grateful for missionary work and for the opportunity to participate in the full and everlasting gospel in these latter-days.
  • Friends, even though I live SO far away from my school friends and I miss them like crazy, they always keep in contact with me.  And it makes me so happy.  I also am happy to be making friends up here in Wyoming and to get to know the women in my Relief Society group in our ward.
Life is unpredictable.  Things ALWAYS change for the better, even when it doesn't seem like it.  Blissful contentedness is a wonderful thing.  And I'm happy to be finally experiencing it after a few weeks of heartache and frustration.  

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

rare breed of lady

I'm a die hard feminist.  Seriously, it's almost detrimental.  I believe we deserve equal rights as men (quite honestly, I can't believe we're still debating the topic.  I mean, it's the 21st century).  I believe we deserve to make our own choices about our health and bodies.  I believe we deserve to be paid the same amount as men for the same job.  I believe we shouldn't be forced to pay more for products just because they're the color pink.  The list goes on and on.

I love being a wife.  Getting married was, seriously, the best decision I ever made.  I've heard every single negative thing about me getting married as young as I did.  However, it was what worked for our situation.  It's not right for everyone, I'd never encourage just anyone to get married before they're 20.  It was a decision that required lots of prayer, contemplation and scripture study.  When the time is right, you know it is right.  Timing is everything.  I know how cliche it sounds, but it is.  My own mother didn't get married until she was 39.  That was when the time was right for her.  The time was right for me at 19.

As much as I love being a wife, I am SO excited to be a mother.  I can't wait to have little JD and Megan combinations running around, making my house a mess, pulling my hair/earrings out and keeping me awake until all hours of the night.  Nothing makes me happier that I decided to share my life with JD then when I think about the children we will have together.

Now that you know my background, I'd like to disband a few "myths" about women who are feminists:
  • All feminists hate men. FALSE.  I love men.  I love my husband.  I don't believe every man is trying to oppress me or put me down. However, I do believe there are some out there who do oppress, abuse and take advantage of women.  It's a sad fact of our society.  I just happened to be lucky enough to have the self esteem and good sense to not associate with men of that breed.
  • Women who stay at home with their children are being oppressed by their husbands. FALSE.  My goal in life is to become a stay-at-home mother.  Feminism is about women choosing what they want to do.  If they want to pursue being a stay-at-home mother, great!  If they want to become a doctor, also cool!  
  • Women who wear make up, do their hair and dress nice are conforming to society's idea of beauty.  FALSE.  Fun fact: I'm obsessed with doing hair and make up.  I love getting ready in the morning.  Women don't have to do their hair and makeup to be beautiful.  However, that doesn't mean they shouldn't or can't.
  • Feminism is a bunch of women being whiny. FALSE.  Feminism is about women being able to pay the same amount of money for products/services as men, be paid the same amount of money for the same job as men, be treated with respect, being allowed to make their own health decisions, etc.  Women deserve to have a CHOICE and not be directed by the government or others just because they have a uterus.  
  • All feminists are democrats. FALSE.  I'm a  registered republican, although I label myself as more of an independent.  I think democrats are stupid.  I also think republicans are stupid.  I think they both have good points and also have terrible points.  However, I agree more with the republican party regarding economic issues and tend to sway to the democratic party for social issues. Essentially, I vote for whomever/whatever issue make the most logical, ethical and moral sense.
I'm a strange, republican woman that believes in the radical notion that women should be treated like people.  Also, here's my favorite observation ever on the new "Bic for Women" pens.  Seriously, have you seen this yet?  What are your thoughts?  Do I sound completely stupid or do I make any sense?



Monday, November 12, 2012

it never ends

Homework, Lawyer work, Housework....It never ends. 

And I am 200% positive I've already written about this.  However, I recently read this post on the lovely Annie's blog and felt inspired.  I remembered being in her young women's and ballet classes and relating so well to her.  If you don't follow her blog, you should.  Because it is lovely, her children are lovely, she is lovely, it's just a bundle of lovely.

I think I've mentioned before, I'm a legal secretary.  Work lately has been crazy busy.  Our office moved, we have another assistant that was recently hired, and things have been so busy with 2 trials this week.  It's stressful, difficult and basically totally overwhelming.

Homework...sucks...I hate general education classes.  Why can't I just get on to my arts/education/whatever else degree?

And, my house is basically a wreck.  It looks like a bomb went off...and I don't have the time, patience or energy to do anything about it.  I'm a naturally messy person.  I have never been good at organization for myself, I've never been good about cleaning.  I generally only clean when I absolutely have too.  I've been depressed, frustrated, anxious and all around difficult to live with lately (sorry, JD).  And I can't figure out how to accomplish everything.  I never feel like things are clean.  I never feel like I'm doing enough.  I never feel good about myself, my home or my work.  The only thing I have been feeling good about: my marriage.  Which is why I so frequently blog about our relationship.  Because it is the one thing I feel like I am succeeding at.

Annie talked about her recent struggle with this same issue and I felt inspired.  As of today, I'm attempting to turn over a new leaf.  I created for myself a home management binder, which is my new favorite thing.  At some point I will share with you how it was created.  I'm going to be better about making myself a priority.  And I'm going to be better about keeping myself, my home and my schooling in order.

We'll see how this works...

Friday, November 9, 2012

bundle o' sad

Every once in a while, it's a good thing when your spouse locks you in the bathroom and shouts from the other room "You either relax and take a bath with the new bath salts and body wash I bought you or you sit and sulk for 20 minutes.  Your choice."  I'm hard-headed, but he always knows how to get through to me.  

Today, I have basically just been a big bundle of sad and emotions.  Work was terrible, homework sucks, I have a cold.  The odds are not for me today.  When JD finally got home from work, he promptly held me, let me cry for a bit and made me some toast.  Toast, it's kind of my comfort food.  Then I got back to trying to do my homework.  After being incredibly frustrated with every attempt he finally intervened after watching me struggle because of how stressed I was.  He took my laptop off of my lap, pulled me to our bathroom and closed the door.  My favorite thing to do at the end of a bad day is to basically sit in the tub for an hour.  Silent, warm, alone, ahh...so perfect.  Then the previous exchange occurred.  It was perfect.  However, I still had basically the suckiest day in the history of ever.  So, I've gone to youtube to drown my sorrows away.  Enjoy a few of my favorite sad day videos.


They're not all Sophia Grace and Rosie videos.  Even though they are adorable...and I adore them...